By: Joemar Pasco
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When Divorce is Right?
Signs That It May Be Right To Divorce
Spouses make the decision to divorce at the same time in a few instances. Almost always, one of the parents, maybe the one with lower pain tolerance, determines that she will no longer be able to deal with the relationship and, given all the uncertainty and dislocation of divorce, agrees that it would be better than allowing the marriage to go on. Even though the initiator may be and is often the husband, it is the wife who triggers the end of the marriage in around 75% of divorces. The partner who is not leading may be close behind and will soon decide when divorce is right.
Most of the couples reported that they did know when they began to notice obvious signs that surfaced early in their relationship that it was time to divorce. Such warning signs led to their marriage’s subsequent dissolution. For example, couples who split up frequently say that their partner feels judged or ignored or fought over and over and over the same issues.
In many instances, people are distant and ultimately lose each other’s fondness, affection, and devotion over time. Sweeping things under the carpet work only for so long; remembering and ignoring can be a struggle if partners have deep-seated animosity.
Honesty in a Relationship
Suffice to say, honesty and openness create a safe intimate relationship that includes expressing the innermost feelings, opinions, and wishes. Being honest means taking a risk and revealing our true self instead of doing what we think the spouse wants to hear. Sharing your thoughts and emotions encourages intimacy and confidence, the adhesive that can hold a marriage together in times of stress and turmoil, according to marriage professionals. If you are unable to speak about the difficult things, you will have less love and intimacy as well as less fondness and appreciation for your partner over time.
If you don’t like socializing with friends or relatives of each other, so you start to spend some time away from each other. This can start off from your friend as an occasional weekend if they ask you to socialize with them and others. But if it’s not dealt with properly, it can carry over into weekends–especially when couples have a chance to spend some time together.
One other sign when you’re with your spouse, you still feel lonely. As a consequence, less love, closeness, and familiarity are felt. You can find yourself dependent on a good friend or co-worker for your marital problems –someone with a listening ear. Generally one of you is searching for more intimacy and the other is searching for space. This is one of divorce’s main causes.
It undermines the love and confidence between you over time because you will lack the emotional and physical intimacy that originates from being attached. Your differences are never settled, and you continue to complain over and over again about the same issues. You slip into the blame pit or refuse to negotiate or apologize. As a product, less heat and closeness is felt.